Let, the right one, or me or someone in.

Ok, as many of you know, I'm completely and totally against the American bastardization process that we see in films today. Whatever do you mean? Glad you asked. What I'm referring to is when American filmmakers decide to take foreign films and remake them for American audiences. With the only exception(s) being Quarantine (In which Almost Human's FX rocked) remakes, be it remakes of original American Horror films or the foreign ones rank right up there with rancid pig shit. (In my not so humble opinion).

So now we have this gem from Sweden called "Let the Right One In". Oh wait, I was talking about the American Bastardized remake of "Let the Right One In" called "Let Me In" and with such an original and thought provoking title, it's no wonder that it flopped and fell flat on its ass at the box office.

I'm going to spoil this for you so that you might save your hard earned...$15? on the dvd, since you were smart enough not to go to the theater and watch it. Little boy meets little girl, little girl is a vampire, there's blood betrayal and death. Nothing overly fancy or gory despite the R rating.

I watched the original Swedish version, subtitles and all and fell asleep during the movie, not because it was poorly written, not because it was poorly performed, and not because of the subtitles. The premise of the film is at best, boring! In my opinion, the only reason that Hollywood in their LSD infused decision making process which they appear to use, decided to remake it was that it was critically acclaimed, I'm not sure why. Possibly because child vampires hadn't done before? Oh wait, what about the film adaptation of Salems Lot? Another film with children Vampires which sucked so many different kinds of cock, it might as well be a salaried manager at your local Walmart.

Speaking of Salems Lot, did anyone else notice the tagline from Steven King on the cover of the "Let Me In"? And I quote: "The best American Horror Film in the last 20 years" Now I'm not sure if Mr. King was paid to say that, or if they bothered him to the point that he said it to shut them up and get them to go away, or perhaps Mr. King is out of touch. Maybe he hasn't seen a single American Horror Film since the last film adaptation flopped either at the box office, or in the Nielsens ratings, as most of his poorly adapted stuff ends up as a T.V. Mini-series anyways.

Sorry, but this film is inferior even to Lionsgate's 8 Films to fall asleep to...er Die for. Those films rate up there with infected boils, but hey, that's still better than rancid pig shit right?

My Thoughts: Fuck Let the right one in, it sucked, and Fuck Let Me in, in its stupid ass, it's FUCKIN CLOWNSHOES!

Dead Space 2

MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!!!!


The last time we saw Isaac Clarke he was fleeing the Colony on Aegis VII after returning the Red Marker there. To give a quick summary; He had traveled aboard the USG Kellion on a repair/rescue mission to the USG Isihmura with which contact had been lost, not to mention that his true love Nicole Brennan was aboard the Ishimura. After battling his way through a horde of Necromorphs he survived and escaped, only to be haunted by the specter of his true love.






This time we meet Isaac in a straight jacket, apparently in a psych ward somewhere and the Necromorph outbreak has been in full swing for some time here. This "Somewhere" is The Sprawl and Isaac has a whole new horde of Unitologists who have been converted into Necromorphs!



REVIEW



In similar fashion to the first critically acclaimed Dead Space, this one delivers the good where it counts! First off, fighting for your life in a straight jacket is no easy task, however, players of the Madden Football games should have no problems. If you know how to run a football, the principles for evading Necromorphs is basically the same.

This one merges the scariest parts of the Alien Movie with a Zombie Survival Horror game. Meaning that it's dark, claustrophobic and lonely with plenty of Necromorphs to ambush you when you aren't expecting it. Though there are times when Isaac speaks with other NPC's (Non Playable Characters) through a commlink and Holo-Comm. This time the game works well, at times better than the previous installment, at lulling you into a false sense of security. Not even the most seasoned horror fan (Like myself for instance) can relax nor predict what is coming nor when. You may pass through three areas with no enemies, fully expecting to be ambushed as you enter the next area, only to find nothing until you are almost out of the room. It is unnerving to say the least. Additionally there are areas where Isaac's mind are fucking with him to put it plainly. Where he hallucinates Nicole or simply corpses, or perhaps tortured people in the throes of turning into Necromorphs. None of which are harmful to the player character, or are they?

Unlike the last time you helped Isaac wander around an infestation like this one, this time he makes full use of his engineering abilities, crafting a plasma cutter with flashlight attached to it from parts he scavenges early in the game. Additionally there are a few mini-games such as having to hack locked systems. Another improvement is that in Zero G environments you now have full control, up left down and right of Isaac's movements, as well, as thrusters in his boots to move you where you want or need to go. A huge improvement over the target where you want to land and jump to that location. Another improvement is that there are now interactive cut scenes, where Isaac will be fighting for his life, as you control his aim and only his aim, it can get frustrating, but it adds a frenetic pace and second by second decision making to the game.

Of course I would be remiss not to mention the extreme amounts of gore and the creepy music which made the first game so intense, too intense for some players. There is enough Unitology script for you to try to decipher!







The Dev's also decided to add a Multiplayer mode which allows you to play as either A security team member or as the Necromorphs. What I like most about the PvP mode is that the Necros aren't at an immediate disadvantage and easily killed by the security team with their big guns, but rather you have the chance to really do some damage as the Necros and kill some humans! Unlike in games such as Left 4 Dead 2 where it is actually rather difficult to get kills as the infected.

Which ever side you choose or if you only plan to play the single player mission, Dead Sapce 2 is a sure GOTY candidate and I'll be seriously surprised if it doesn't earn many industry awards. Now stop reading this and go out and kill some Necromorphs, or your friends! (In Multiplayer mode, not for real, you nutjobs!)

-E